Discomfort

So often we limit ourselves to a smaller god by not exploring the edges of comfort. I think God is outside of all of our constructs for Him. Recently I have been thinking about things I have heard, or believed or now believe that are contrary to the normal view of God. Well, perhaps not contrary in all cases, but simply larger or different. I do not believe all of these, but they are all points to ponder. And yes I know some of them can be debunked scripturally with no problem, but if that's the case try to relate to the type of person who would think such a thing.

The use of narcotic substances is universal, be it alcohol or a hallucinogen. I don't think God wants us to fire on all cylinders all the time. We can't handle it so he provided us with ways out.

What if "past life experiences" are Gods way of giving multiple chances for salvation.

If God is outside of time and he accepts death bed conversions, would it not be possible for someone who truly believed and then fell away to still retain salvation?

I disagree with abortion but I think it should remain legal. Before it was legalized young women would perform back alley abortions and not only kill the child, but themselves as well. At least while it's legal the woman lives.

I think we should drink at church. Alcohol has been in churches for centuries why not anymore?

God is a concept completely not of this reality. Is it so difficult to believe that people who have taken reality altering drugs might have a clearer understanding of God?

Feared

What do you have for me God
that I frighten the women I come near
that I injure the ones I touch

I want to see your vision
but all I feel is despair.
My faith immobilized by mere presence
My strength removed by a memory

And yet what do I fear most?
The one who would let me near
The one who would risk the damage

God what direction would you have me take
On what road should I journey
Because the pain I now feel is not yours
Because in the joy of you I should not have such worries

© 2005 Matt Naylor

Sticker

On a bumper sticker: "Execution stops a beating heart"

I thought about this for a few moments, trying to extrapolate some profound meaning.

I failed.

One day later my response is still, "I sure hope so."

An ode to the 14th

Alone on this wretched day
Surrounded by colors that fill me with rage
They speckle the landscape like zits on the grass
White, pink, red - such lies those colors tell
"The love of another and romance bring life"

Your loves will die out if not this year then next
And you'll grasp for another to "cure" you
What victims you are
To the whims of the world
That chain you to feelings of love and acceptance

In loneliness you can't cope
But in companionship you don't live
Be alone for once, let the pangs take hold
Embrace what you run from
Before all turns to ash

Is it worth it for you?
The pain of rejection, the hurt of the let down?
I live with one pain steady and slow
But your life is a pile of baggage
A repetition of failures
A pattern of disappointments
Your wings are clipped; your life unlived
And you don't even know it

© 2005 Matt Naylor

The book of _____

What do you have to tell me
What mysteries do your pages hold
Perhaps none
You may just say all you mean
A deeper look might bury your message
Yet still I find myself searching for some deeper meaning
Fishing for some revelation of character, either yours or God's
And I lose sleep over the thought that I have missed the point

© 2005 Matt Naylor

Fullness

I look at the beauty of a simple plant
Run my fingers along a piece of tree.
I take notice of a pleasing scent
Lift my voice to declare I'm free.
I listen to the word of God
Found on the gentle breeze,
Or in the roaring wind
The thundering storm
The sermon's meat
And I taste the bread, I drink the cup
I dance, I run, I laugh and weep
I take hold of you and what you have
That I might live in fullness

© 2005 Matt Naylor

Fasting

So it's been about a month since I posted. Consequently I have spent the last month nearly devoid of media input. Why? Because God had something larger than TV and internet for me to experience. I was fasting. I was following Jesus. Fasting is one of three "when" disciplines that most Christians seem happy enough to ignore or apathetic enough not to change. What I mean by "when" disciplines is that either by direct statement of Jesus or unwritten assumption these disciplines are assumed to be part of Christian living. Jesus made comments of "when you fast" and "when you pray". Not if but when. Or for us Americans, not if you feel like it, but when it is necessary. I would have to say that I think fasting from food is a much more powerful and biblical form of fasting, but all that a fast requires is cutting out a luxury for the sake of Christ's kingdom. And still, excuses flow in abundance. I rationalized for hours why I just could not partake in the media fast. "I spend too much time alone anyway and I'm not disciplined enough to read my bible and pray for 3-5 hours every day. I won't be able to update my blog." Or my favorite because in comparison to knowing Christ they simply show my own stupidity, "I just bought three DVD's I really want to watch. There are some movies in the theatre that I want to see on the big screen." All of my excuses were rubbish, were evidences of just how far I still have to go. Fasting is about stepping out in faith, in the knowledge and understanding that God is enough to sustain you. A glimpse of the cases of fasting in the Old Testament leaves me with no doubt that fasting makes our prayers all the sweeter before the throne of God.
(The third when, for any of you keeping count, I believe is unwritten and it is "when you read scripture")